


The Opposite of Loneliness

by i_paint_the_sky



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Starfleet Academy, casually bisexual Cornwell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-27 15:45:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15688488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_paint_the_sky/pseuds/i_paint_the_sky
Summary: Set during their years at Starfleet Academy, five times Katrina and Gabriel almost hooked up ... and one time they did.





	The Opposite of Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [MsEllieJane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsEllieJane/pseuds/MsEllieJane) in the [july2018](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/july2018) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> 5 Times Katrina and Gabriel almost hooked up (and one time they did)
> 
> Nothing like the good old friends-to-lovers trope in which UST simmers in the background while our heroes try to figure their feelings out. Prime Lorca, plz (it wouldn't really make sense otherwise). Smut is very welcome, but not necessary.

The walls of Cochrane House were vibrating along with the beat of the music, or at least it seemed the way. Katrina leaned against them, enjoying the feeling as she finished off another drink. She’d written her last exam this morning, so it was the perfect night for some fun.

She felt someone come stand beside her and turned to see Gabriel, who lived across the hall from her. “Hey,” she said with a smile.

“Hey.” He passed her a cup. “It looked like you could use another.”

“Thank you.”

“Glad to see you finally caught up and reached the finish line,” he said with a classic Gabriel smirk.

“Shut up,” she said, elbowing him gently in the ribs. “Having your last exam a week before the rest of us doesn’t make you special.”

He chuckled. “Maybe not, but it does mean I’m very well rested.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.”

She laughed. “Fine, I don’t.”

They chatted for a few more minutes, then Gabriel got a look in his eyes. “Come on,” he said, grabbing her hand, “let’s dance.”

She let him lead her down the hall to a more open area, dropping off their now empty cups on a table along the way. There were other cadets there dancing too and they joined the crowd. Katrina smiled as the world spun around her and she spun with it. Then a new song came on, slower, and before she knew it her hands were on Gabriel’s shoulders, his on her waist, and the spinning world shrunk down to just the two of them. And as she looked up at him, all she could think about was what it would be like to kiss him.

It wasn’t the first time she’d thought about this. They’d spent a lot of time together the last couple of months and it hadn’t escaped her notice that he was tall and dark and handsome. Also clever, funny, and ambitious, maybe even more ambitious than she was. And he was right there, all she had to do was lean forward and up and she’d finally have her answer. Just a few inches, that was it.

Unfortunately, that was the moment that a nearby cadet lost his balance and stumbled into them, spilling his drink down Katrina’s shirt in the process. “Shit, sorry!”

She shook her head, backing away from him - and from Gabriel. “It’s fine. Just be more careful next time.”

He promised to do so before wandering off, leaving her and her soaked clothes. She looked down at them. “I think that’s my cue to call it a night.”

“It’s not that bad,” Gabriel said. “You don’t have to-”

“No, I’m tired and wet and drunk and … goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Kat.”

She headed to her room as fast as unsteady feet could carry her. The next morning, part of her was glad she hadn’t kissed him, hadn’t changed things between them forever on an intoxicated whim. But that didn’t keep her from wondering what might have happened if things had been different.

-

“Have you had trouble sleeping recently.”

Gabriel thought about the question for a moment. “Yes, actually. The cadet across the hall from me snores so loud, it’s hard to get any sleep at all.”

Katrina scoffed. “Come on, take this seriously. It’s my final project.”

“Why did I agree to this again?”

“Because I’m the one that asked you?”

She didn’t know how right she was. This was the sort of thing Gabriel hated, having someone poking and prodding inside his head. And yet, here he was. Because it was Kat.

“Fine. No, I haven’t had any trouble sleeping.”

Kat made a note of his response on her PADD and he let his eyes wander for a moment. She looked good in her tank top, the jacket of her Starfleet uniform hanging up on the door. She had nice arms … and nice other things too.

She looked up and caught his glance. “What?”

Gabriel shook his head. “Nothing. What’s the next question?”

She raised her eyebrows at his answer, then shook her head and looked back down at her PADD. “Do you ever feel dizzy, like your head was spinning, or felt like you were going to faint.”

He resisted making a comment about smelling salts, instead replying with a simple, “No.”

As Katrina add this response to her notes, she reached back, rubbing her shoulder.

“Are you feeling okay?”

She immediately dropped her arm down. “Just a little sore.”

He got up and went to stand behind her. “I can help with that,” he said, placing a hand on either shoulder. “And I can keep answering your questions while I’m at it.” His fingers pressed into her muscles, not surprised to find them filled with tension. “You are not good at relaxing.”

“Hard to relax with you already around, giving me a hard time,” she said, before sighing and leaning back into his touch. “You’re good at this.”

“I’m a man of many talents.” Of course, there were some other things he thought he was good at too, things he couldn’t help but think of right now.

It surprised people to know that he and Katrina had only known each for a matter of months. It also surprised some people that they two of them weren’t romantically involved. Sometimes it surprised him too. Kat was intelligent, beautiful, and ambitious, maybe even more ambitious than he was. Basically, she was one of the most incredible people he knew and yeah, he was attracted to her. But nothing had happened.

“Have you experienced any traumatic events?” she asked, eventually remembering the school project. “And don’t say this survey.”

“Fine, though it is very traumatizing.” He paused, thinking about the question. “Who hasn’t experienced traumatic events though? That’s life, isn’t it?”

She craned her neck to look up at him and for a moment he had an intense desire to kiss her. He soon wished he’d gone ahead and done it, to stop her next question.

“What sort of trauma?”

His fingers stilled, though they remained on her shoulders. “Don’t worry about it, Kat, it was just the regular old sort of stuff. Isn’t this quiz supposed to be a yes/no thing anyway?”

She stared at him, then finally turned her attention back to the PADD. “Fine. But if you want to talk about it…”

“I have a good shrink across the hall, I know.”

She stood up then, looking him straight in the eye. “That’s not what I mean, Gabriel. I’m your friend. And if you ever need a friend to talk, well, I’m right across the hall.”

He nodded. “I know.”

-

Sweat dripped down the back of Katrina’s neck and her body ached from exertion. Still, she refused to give up, struggling back to her feet and getting back into a fighting stance.

Gabriel gave her a quick once over and she tried to ignore the slight flutter in her stomach it caused. Instead, she focused on his arms and legs, trying to predict and counter his next movement. Physical combat was a required course in second year and, while it was not her area of expertise, she was making steady improvement. She saw his next swing coming and countered it, blocking with both arms and then striking her leg out, trying to catch the back of his ankle. He saw her coming and stepped out of range.

“Not bad,” he said, that insufferable smirk on his face. For once, she was allowed to try and knock it off his face. He blocked her fist with an ease that only annoyed her more.

She took a few steps back, deep breaths, gathering her thoughts and emotions. She couldn’t let him annoy her, not if she wanted to beat him. 

And she definitely wanted to beat him.

She took a few side steps, which he matched. He wasn’t smiling anymore, his blue eyes sharp and ready. She ran through different strategies in her head, coming up with a plan of attack she hoped would work. One step forward, then two. She kept her eyes locked on his, everything looking like she would target his upper body. Then instead she went low, sweeping her leg out toward him. This time, she was faster and she took his legs out from under him.

Unfortunately, he was leaning forward at the time and fell right on top of her, knocking her onto her back. When he finally got air back in her longs, she found herself staring right into his eyes again, only now his face was about an inch away from hers.

She was acutely aware of the feeling of his body pressing down on hers, of the heat from skin on skin, breath on breath. The feeling in her stomach was back.

Long moments passed. “Are you going to move at some point?” she asked.

Gabriel blinked, then immediately shifted off of her. “Sorry.”

Katrina sat up, rubbing the back of her head. “I guess this round is a draw.”

“Unless you want a rematch.”

“Not today. I should get going, actually.”

“Why, do you have some hot date?”

She stood up before answering. “Something like that, maybe.” She glanced over at him and there was a strange look in his eyes, something she didn’t recognize, something that was gone a moment later.

“Good for you,” he said after a moment. “I’ll see you tomorrow in class?”

She nodded, gathering up her stuff and heading for the change room. As she reached the door, she paused, looking back, but Gabriel was already gone.

-

“Regulation 476.9.”

Gabriel only had to think about it for a moment. “All away teams must report to the bridge at least once every twenty-four hours.”

“Correct,” Katrina said, before covering a yawn. She glanced over at the chronometer beside Gabriel’s bed. “I don’t think my brain can take any more of this. Not tonight, at least.”

Gabriel shifted in his seat beside Kat on the bed, eyeing her. “So even the great Cadet Cornwell has a limit. Excellent, that will make it easier for me to be the top of our class.”

“Ha, don’t count on that. Even sleep deprived, I can still beat you.”

“Fighting words, I like them.”

She smiled then settled so that her back was against the wall, before closing her eyes. Gabriel put the textbook away and moved beside her. “You know, you have your own bed across the hall.”

“Too far,” she murmured before she rested her head on his shoulder.

He shifted until he could wrap his arm around her. “Comfortable?” he asked.

“Mmm, very,” she murmured. “I’ve always liked your shoulders.”

“Really? I’ll make note of that.”

She laughed softly before snuggling in closer. His fingers traced circles on her arm, while thoughts ran round in circles in his head. Had he found himself in this position a year ago, he almost certainly would have made a move. Or at least seriously thought about it. He was beginning to think it might be too late for that. The perfect moment he’d always held out for had never come and now Kat had been dating her girlfriend, Mei, for almost a year.

“Kat?”

She was definitely asleep now. Gabriel shook his head then pressed his lips to the top of her head, before extricated himself and settling her down on the bed. He covered her up with a blanket, then grabbed an extra pillow and some clothes to make the floor comfortable enough for himself. It wouldn't be the worse place he'd ever slept and, even though he probably could have woken her up and escorted back to her room, he didn't have the heart to try.

-

The door to Katrina’s room chimed for the third time and for a third time she ignored it. She didn’t want to see anyone right now. Instead, she curled up tighter on her bed, thinking about Mei and all the ways things had gone wrong.

Apparently the person at the door wasn’t getting the message, as they actually knocked on it next. “Kat, please let me in.” Gabriel. Of course.

She considered ignoring him but the odds of him actually were slim. Plus, unlike anyone else, the idea of seeing him didn’t make her want to claw her eyes out. She sighed heavily and sat up. “Come in.”

The door opened and he walked in, immediately coming to stand beside the bed. “What can I do?”

She looked up at him for a moment, then shook his head. “Nothing. I’ll be fine. I’ve already gotten rid of all photos and gifts, which is step one. I think step two will be some sort of new activity, perhaps going for a run in the morning or-”

“Cut the crap, Katrina. Just because you’ve read the steps in a psych textbook doesn’t mean you can treat your own heartbreak in isolation.”

She glared at him. “If you’re here to lecture me, you can leave.”

He looked back at her calming, then held out open hands. “I’m here to help you, in whatever way you need. If you really think the best thing to do is to leave you alone, fine, but I don’t think that’s the case.”

She was about to kick him out when she stopped, suddenly thinking of the last time Mei was in this room. They’d been happy, or at least that’s what she’d believed. She could feel herself tearing up again, even though she thought she’d already cried herself out.

“Just … hold me,” she said as the first tear fell across her cheek. Gabriel did just that, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. As she wept, he stroked her hair gently, murmuring words that, even though she wasn’t really paying attention, still sounded comforting.

She wasn’t sure how long the embrace lasted. By the end of it, she found herself noticing just how warm he was, just how good he smelled. Before Mei, she had thought she and Gabriel might have a thing, eventually. There had been so many little moments between them. Lost moments, really, scattered all the way back to that dance in first year. It wouldn’t take much, to use this moment. It would only take a slight shift to turn the embrace from comfort into something more.

But if she did that, it would be worse than a drunken whim. Maybe she couldn’t treat her own broken heart, but she could prevent it from causing her to make mistakes. And jumping into bed with Gabriel know would be a mistake.

So instead, she pulled back, dried her eyes, and said, “Thank you.”

-

Gabriel and Katrina had been hiking for several hours now, leaving civilization far behind them. The journey had passed mostly in silence, which was unusual for them but perhaps not unexpected. Yesterday, they had graduated from Starfleet Academy. By the end of the week, they would both be off on their new assignments.

For four years, there had only been a hallway between them; soon, there would be a universe. And so Gabriel had suggested this one last adventure together, going out into the wilderness to watch the Perseid meteor shower.

The sun was just beginning to set, the air cooling around them, when they reached the cabin he’d rented. They unpacked and soon they were sitting in front of the fireplace, basking in the heat and orange glow.

“How long until the meteors start?” Kat asked.

Gabriel looked at his chronometer. “About an hour. So, just enough time for something special that I brought.” He reached into his backpack and pulled out a bottle of single malt whiskey.

Katrina laughed and reached eagerly for the bottle, turning it around to read the label. “This is good stuff. Well above a cadet’s pay grade.”

“Good thing we’re ensigns then.”

“Technically. I don’t know if it will really feel real until we’re out there.”

He reached over and took the bottle back, then opened it. “I don’t have any glasses but figured we were roughing it anyway,” he said before taking a swig. It was smooth and smoky, just the way he liked it.

He passed the bottle over and Kat raised it up, then paused. “What do you think it will be like?”

He considered the question for a moment. “I don’t know. Probably not all that different, at least not at first.”

Kat finally took a swig from the bottle, then put it down. “Everything is going to be different. No more tests, no more theory … we’ll be out there, scattered among the stars.”

“But think of all the things we’ll do out there. Changing the universe, one menial task at a time.”

She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “It will be strange, not seeing … everyone.”

Gabriel shifted closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. “I’m going to miss you too, Kat.”

That earned him a genuine smile. The golden light from the first made her eyes sparkle and her skin glow. At that moment, as all the past close calls looped in his memory, he felt like this was finally the now or never moment.

And he definitely wasn’t picking the never option.

She inhaled sharply when he pressed his lips against hers, giving him a moment of worry, but then it turned into a sigh and she leaned forward, pressing against him. He could taste the whiskey on her tongue and groaned. She pulled away for a moment so she could kneel in front of him, freeing her arms to skim over his shoulders, then grasp and erase even more of the space between them. He shifted to his knees as well, one hand sliding through her hair, while the other sought the skin beneath her shirt.

Finally, heart racing, he managed to pull back for a moment, looking into her eyes. “Yes?”

“Hell yes.”

Clothes were quickly discarded, albeit carefully to make sure nothing ended up in the fire. Gabriel’s lips sought every part of her body, eager to learn all of them. He discovered that she was ticklish in a few places, places he lavished with attention mercilessly, loving the sound of her giggles. Even better were the places that made her gasp and sigh.

He took his time before setting his mouth to the places between her legs. He traced circles on the soft skin there with his tongue, teasing and tasting. One finger slid inside her, then another.

“God, Gabriel …”

He flicked his tongue over her clitoris and her muscled muscles clenched around him. He withdrew then, moving to lie beside her. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, kissing her lips softly.

She smiled. “You’re … incredible. Not just at this, but everything.”

She kissed him deeply then came to lie on top of him, straddling his hips. She reached down, hand wrapping around his cock and pumping it slowly, causing him to groan. Carefully, she positioned them both and then sheathed herself around him.

Everything was still, both of them savouring the feeling, until Gabriel couldn’t bear it any longer and moved beneath her. Together they found a rhythm, slow and steady at first but gaining momentum. He couldn’t form any thoughts other than _yes_ and _finally_ and _oh fuck yes_.

When he came, pleasure overtook his entire being. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware of Kat continuing to ride him for a few moments longer. Then her body trembled before relaxing, her weight returning to press comfortably against his chest.

They lay together there for a long time, sweat covered bodies tangled in front of the fire, until an alarm on his chronometer went off and alerted them that the Perseids were about to begin.

-

Katrina could barely keep her hands to herself as they watched the meteors streaking across the sky. After so many idle fantasies, she wanted to learn about the real thing now. The only good reason not to touch Gabriel was when she had the bottle of whiskey in her hand instead, but it was gone now, leaving her warm and fuzzy inside.

The Perseids were amazing too, so many streaks of light across the sky. At one point, she’d tried to give Gabriel a kiss for each one she saw but eventually she realized this was futile.

Between it all, she did manage a few coherent thoughts, as she wondered if she should be lamenting how long it took for them to get here. Four years together and it was only on the eve of their separation that things finally fell into place. But she didn’t feel any regrets. Maybe that would change once she was sober, but she doubted it. The years of friendship were just as valuable to here as any romantic relationship could have been, maybe even more so.

And now, not only did they have to make up for lost time, but there was a whole future with Gabriel to look forward to.


End file.
